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Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

Networking for the Win

Too many people fail at the followup, IMHO.

1. Press the flesh.

The core to networking is meeting people face to face. Except for rare occasions, such as long-distance online romances, all the friends and business colleagues that we trust we’ve met in person. If you think you can be an effective networker solely by engaging in social media, you’re sorely wrong. You have to get out and press the flesh.

4. Always follow up.

This is the core of all networking: following up. If you don’t do it, you might as well never have met the person. I would estimate that one out of 20 people I hand my business card to follows up. Collecting business cards without following up is a wasted engagement. It only takes days for the person to completely forget meeting you. If you follow up with some level of context of your meeting it increases the value and impact of the meeting. To remember that meeting, take notes on the business card.

When you do follow up, be specific about your follow up. Don’t just say, “Nice to have met you,” or, “We should meet for coffee sometime,” because that now puts the onus on the other person to set up the meeting and discuss its purpose. That’s quite a burden. If you want that to happen, you need to set the place, time, and purpose of the discussion.

7. Listen.

Yes, it’s good to be directed about what you’re doing and have focus, but you’ll be a far more effective networker and make better connections if you simply listen to others. If someone else isn’t as much a talker as you are, then ask questions. Pull them out of their shell; that will let you to listen to them. Networking is not an opportunity for you to spout out marketing copy that you hope someone else will absorb. Your job is to listen and create a relationship first.

Via 10 networking tactics that most people screw up

Power Couples

Mark Zuckerberg’s Wife Priscilla Chan: A New Brand of Billionaire Bride

Chan joins a group of Silicon Valley billionaire spouses who are achievers in their own right rather than kept women or arm candy.

Laurene Powell Jobs earned an economics degree at Wharton then put in time at Goldman Sachs and Merrill Lynch before completing a Stanford MBA the same year she married the late Apple mogul Steve. She’s the co-founder of natural foods company Terraverra and education nonprofit College Track, and a mother of three. She also serves on the boards of the New America Foundation and Teach for America.

Anne Wojcicki, wife of Google billionaire Sergey Brin, has a degree in biology from Yale and co-founded biotech firm 23andMe, a genetic testing company that gives customers an analysis of their DNA for a relatively affordable price.

Then there’s Melinda Gates, the ultimate power partner. The former Melinda Ann French earned undergrad and MBA degrees from Duke before joining a young computer company called Microsoft in the late ’80s. She helped develop well-known products like the Encarta encyclopedia and the Expedia booking tool — and met the man she’d eventually marry, Bill Gates. Since, she’s taken the lead with the couple’s Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and earned a reputation as one of the world’s foremost philanthropists.

I hope to be half of a power couple some day…

Authentic & Enduring Friendships

Amitie qui se peut finir / Ne fut jamais bien commencee
(A friendship that can be ended / didn’t ever start)

~ Mellin de Saint-Gelais, Oeuvres Potiques

How Will You Measure Your Life?

When the members of the class of 2010 entered business school, the economy was strong and their post-graduation ambitions could be limitless. Just a few weeks later, the economy went into a tailspin. They’ve spent the past two years recalibrating their worldview and their definition of success.

The students seem highly aware of how the world has changed (as the sampling of views in this article shows). In the spring, Harvard Business School’s graduating class asked HBS professor Clay Christensen to address them—but not on how to apply his principles and thinking to their post-HBS careers. The students wanted to know how to apply them to their personal lives…

Over the years I’ve watched the fates of my HBS classmates from 1979 unfold; I’ve seen more and more of them come to reunions unhappy, divorced, and alienated from their children. I can guarantee you that not a single one of them graduated with the deliberate strategy of getting divorced and raising children who would become estranged from them. And yet a shocking number of them implemented that strategy. The reason? They didn’t keep the purpose of their lives front and center as they decided how to spend their time, talents, and energy.

It’s quite startling that a significant fraction of the 900 students that HBS draws each year from the world’s best have given little thought to the purpose of their lives. I tell the students that HBS might be one of their last chances to reflect deeply on that question. If they think that they’ll have more time and energy to reflect later, they’re nuts, because life only gets more demanding: You take on a mortgage; you’re working 70 hours a week; you have a spouse and children.

For me, having a clear purpose in my life has been essential…

My response:

When I was young, I measured my life by how successful I would be on paper — Good schools, good career, etc.  As I got older, my priorities changed.  I realized how much more meaningful positive personal relationships were to my life — Particularly during the last 6 years, when I needed a supportive network the most.   After I completed graduate school, I decided to focus my professional CV, like your HBS classmates.  Unlike them, I chose to go down the career route unmarried and childless.  I do not regret the latter decision, but I now find myself completely single and less connected to friends than I would like.

As Albert Schweitzer noted, “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”

…I find the symptoms you describe, as a result of not focusing on a fulfilling measure of one’s life, to be prevalent in every socioeconomic bracket.  As I write this, your article has garnered over 350 comments.  The sentiments you express resonate with a large portion of the population.  Yet, I will guess that more than half of us who nodded our heads in agreement with you will go back to our tunnel-visioned lives within 2 months.  Like new year’s resolutions, we have the best intentions to change & we know it’s in our best interests, but…

“When people who have a high need for achievement—and that includes all Harvard Business School graduates—have an extra half hour of time or an extra ounce of energy, they’ll unconsciously allocate it to activities that yield the most tangible accomplishments. And our careers provide the most concrete evidence that we’re moving forward. You ship a product, finish a design, complete a presentation, close a sale, teach a class, publish a paper, get paid, get promoted. In contrast, investing time and energy in your relationship with your spouse and children typically doesn’t offer that same immediate sense of achievement. Kids misbehave every day. It’s really not until 20 years down the road that you can put your hands on your hips and say, “I raised a good son or a good daughter.” You can neglect your relationship with your spouse, and on a day-to-day basis, it doesn’t seem as if things are deteriorating. People who are driven to excel have this unconscious propensity to underinvest in their families and overinvest in their careers—even though intimate and loving relationships with their families are the most powerful and enduring source of happiness.”  

Moreover, as an adult looking to forge new friendships outside of family, I discovered what others discovered before me: It’s much more difficult to make new friends after college. On top of this, there is a growing trend of transitory relationships — Platonic & romantic.  No one wants to commit. To friendship. To marriage. Or even being punctual for dinner or returning a phone call.  Unless of course, there is material or monetary benefits to be gained…

Read the complete article, my full response and -Like- my comment.  (Please.)