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Posts Tagged ‘friends’

The Sad State of Friendship

As Brian and his wife wandered off toward the No. 2 train afterward, it crossed my mind that he was the kind of guy who might have ended up a groomsman at my wedding if we had met in college.

That was four years ago. We’ve seen each other four times since. We are “friends,” but not quite friends. We keep trying to get over the hump, but life gets in the way.

Our story is not unusual. In your 30s and 40s, plenty of new people enter your life, through work, children’s play dates and, of course, Facebook. But actual close friends — the kind you make in college, the kind you call in a crisis — those are in shorter supply.

As people approach midlife, the days of youthful exploration, when life felt like one big blind date, are fading. Schedules compress, priorities change and people often become pickier in what they want in their friends.

No matter how many friends you make, a sense of fatalism can creep in: the period for making B.F.F.’s, the way you did in your teens or early 20s, is pretty much over. It’s time to resign yourself to situational friends: K.O.F.’s (kind of friends) — for now…

As external conditions change, it becomes tougher to meet the three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other, said Rebecca G. Adams, a professor of sociology and gerontology at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. This is why so many people meet their lifelong friends in college, she added.

Via Friends of a Certain Age

Scenes from My Upcoming Music Video, Part IV

Scenes from My Upcoming Music Video, Part III

June 8, 2012 1 comment

Spend Time with Friends!!

Regular participation in clubs and other social activities increases happiness to the same degree as doubling one’s income or obtaining a college degree, according to Harvard’s Robert D. Putnam, as reported by Chris M. Herbst of Arizona State. Evidence indicates that social connectedness has a powerful influence not only on happiness but also on self-reported health, Herbst says.

Via Social Participation Provides the Same Happiness Boost as a Gigantic Raise

Scenes from My Upcoming Music Video, Part II

May 31, 2012 1 comment

The Making of a Music Video

I spent 3+ hours rehearsing.  10+ hours filming.  12+ hours working on pulling film stills.

My friend will be editing the final video.  Hopefully, it will be completed in time for a 1 June group screening of student films.

Scenes from My Upcoming Music Video

May 21, 2012 1 comment